Real programmers
April 5th, 2009 — 2:57pm
- Real programmers don’t write specs. Users should consider themselves lucky to get any programs at all and take what they get.
- Real programmers don’t comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to read.
- Real programmers don’t write application programs, they program right down on the bare metal. Application programming is for feebs who can’t do systems programming.
- Real programmers don’t eat quiche. Real programmers don’t even know how to spell quiche. They eat Twinkies, Coke and palate-scorching Szechwan food.
- Real programmers don’t draw flowcharts. Flowcharts are, after all, the illiterate’s form of documentation. Cavemen drew flowcharts; look how much it did for them.
- Real programmers don’t read manuals. Reliance on a reference is a hallmark of the novice and the coward.
- Real programmers programs never work right the first time. But if you throw them on the machine they can be patched into working in only a few 30-hours debugging sessions.
- Real programmers don’t use Fortran. Fortran is for wimpy engineers who wear white socks, pipe stress freaks, and crystallography weenies. They get excited over finite state analysis and nuclear reactor simulation.
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